Pure Jealousy
by The Trust Foundation
Summary: Will is getting jealous. Finally. :D
1. I told you so

**Pure Jealousy**

**The Trust Foundation**

**M**

**Jack/Will**

**Not mine, neither one of them**

I saw him leave that night. And something forbidden, something that I had kept locked away safely for so many years, broke loose. I felt something burst inside me when he smiled at the stranger next to him. He was looking for someone to be with that night, and naturally he found one. They drank and laughed, and all the while the feeling in me rose to an unbearable height. They left together. There was absolutely no doubt in what they were going to do. And I was jealous.

I wanted it to be me. I wanted him to leave with me. The though of him lying under some strange man, gasping and moaning was killing me. It should be me who undressed him, it should be me who made him come.

It should be my name he was yelling.

Not the name of some stranger he probably wouldn't even remember the next day.

He left with the man, not looking back. Never wondering if it was the right thing to do. He left, not looking back at me, for which I was very glad, or else he would have seen the look in my eyes. A look of pure jealousy.

I went home shortly after them. The night was completely ruined by then. All I could think of was him. How his blue eyes would glace over in passion, how he would cling to me if it was me doing those things to him. I didn't want to stay any longer. There was no man who could make me forget him, because everyone of them would remind me of him. Every skin I would touch, would remind me of his, all the eyes I would look in would be of a piercing blue.

It should have scared me, these feelings. But they didn't. I had always been aware of them. They were always lurking beneath the surface. The thought that I loved my best friend in a way I shouldn't wasn't the thing that scared me. It was the thought of what would happen if he were to find out.

Because he would, of course he would. Grace would soon notice something about me, she would confront me with it and she would tell Karen. Of course, she would tell me she wouldn't do it. But, knowing her, it would slip out of her by accident. And Karen, well, Karen can't keep something like that a secret to her little poodle.

I felt so scared that moment. He always joked about me having a thing for him, what would he do it if turned out to be reality? I left the club feeling incredibly miserable. I tried hard not to think about what was probably going on in his bedroom, but however hard I tried, all I could think of was having him under me, arching his back into my touch, softly moaning as I caressed him.

I wanted it so badly. It was killing me. These feelings I had kept hidden for so many years had broken loose that night, and there was no point in denying them anymore.

I went to bed, feeling depressed and extremely sad. And although I didn't expect to, I fell asleep immediately. No dreams haunted me that night, I didn't even wake up one time.

When I woke up the next morning, however, everything came back to me. Jack, leaving, not looking back and me and my stupid jealousy. The fact that I was jealous wouldn't change a thing. He would laugh and joke about me "being too fat to ever get someone as hot as him." If I ever should decide to tell him. I heard someone coming in through the front door. It was probably him, coming over for some breakfast. I got up and walked into the living room, dreading the moment I would have to look him in the eye.

But it was Grace. She smiled at me and asked a little surprised: "Hey, honey, why haven't you made breakfast yet?" Naturally, all she could think of was food. My first intention was to just tell her, she would probably squeal in delight and start jumping up and down, but for some reason I didn't want to share it with her. I had always suffered in silence, getting over Michael was something I had done alone as well. I had shared every crush with her, every love and every break-up, but somehow I couldn't share this. I made us breakfast and we sat in silence as she shoved her food down her throat. She was already finished when I was only halfway. She looked at me skeptically while I read the paper. I tried very hard to concentrate, but I knew she had noticed something about me already.

"If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to you, you know." She said softly. I looked up at her. She looked truly worried about me.

"It's not that I don't want to tell, I just can't." I tried. It was the closest I could come to the truth right then. I truly couldn't tell her, she would freak out and start doing the "I told you so" song and dance. I really wasn't in the mood for that right now.

"Tell me when you're ready then. You know you can share everything with me, Will." She leaned forward to emphasize her words, looking at me with concerned eyes. I smiled.

"I know, Gracie."

Jack choose that moment to come in. He looked like he always looked in the morning after hooking up with some guy; sleepy, content and a little rugged. His hair was a mess and he had a goofy grin on his face. And I felt that pang of jealousy again; why wasn't it me who could him make look so content after a night of sex? Why couldn't it have been my who had tousled up his hair?

"Morning lovely lady." He said happily. "And Grace too of course." He added sniggering. I felt myself blushing at the compliment. He made these sort of remarks all the time, but somehow it was different now.

He sat down at the table and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"What, no breakfast?" Of course, his mind was only on food as well. I got up hastily and started making a bowl of cereal for him.

"Good night at the club?" Grace asked.

"Oh, yeah." He smiled. He looked so happy, so satisfied I wanted to slap him, kick him, anything to make that look disappear so I could make him happy through my touches, my kisses. I placed the bowl in front of him.

"Thanks, honey." He caught my eyes with his and I felt myself lose concentration. They were so brilliant, so bright, so full of love for me. Older brother love I knew, and I averted my gaze.

"Any time, sweetheart." I felt Grace looking at me surprised, realization dawning in her eyes.

"So Jack." She said, loudly, never taking her eyes of off me. "Did you hook up with someone last night?"

I stared at my spoon with all my might. I couldn't do this, not yet, didn't she understand?

"Of course I did! It was awesome! I think it may be the start of a relationship of more than three days. And you Will? Did you find one?" And before I could stop myself, I looked at him again.

"_Oohh, Will!" He whispered softly. His nails dug deeply into my upper arms. "You feel so nice, hmmmm, please do it now!" My hands drifted lower until he cried out again, head thrown back in ecstasy._

I slightly shook my head at the vision that somehow had made his way into my mind. The little fantasy must have made me blush, because Jack grinned.

"So, you got lucky too?"

"No." I said, quickly looking at my spoon again. I didn't dare to look at him again.

"Oh, shoot! I have to go!" He said, jumping up. He had clearly forgotten about our conversation.

"I have lunch with Joey in an hour!" He ran out of the door, leaving his uneaten breakfast at the table.

Neither Grace nor I spoke for awhile. I looked at her slowly. She looked back with understanding in her eyes.

"Please don't do the "I told you so song"." I whispered.

"I won't, Will." She said. "I won't."

So? What do you think? Is it worth a next chapter? Please let me know! 


	2. Any comfort

**Pure Jealousy**

**The Trust Foundation**

**M**

**Will/Jack**

**If I owned them they would have been together from the beginning**

**Thanks so much for the reviews, you guys were my first reviewers ever! **

I cursed the fact that it was weekend. I couldn't drown myself in any work at that moment. There was only one case I could work on today and I wanted to save that as an last resort. I had to do something not to think of Jack having lunch with that Joey, Because everyone knew how lunches with Jack ended. Well, not my lunches with him of course, but any other guy sure would get lucky afterwards.

To get my mind of things I went to the gym. I exhausted myself completely. I used the heaviest weights and the most intensive programs. But it didn't work at all. Whenever I heard myself panting from lifting the weights I got visions of _him _panting, his eyes closing in ecstasy. Sweat was trickling down my face, but I wanted sweat to stream down the sides of _his _face. I showered quickly, not thinking of what other things I'd rather do in the shower. Soaping Jack for an instance.

I was starting to get extremely desperate on my way home, so I did the only natural thing I could think of: shopping. I went to every shop in Manhattan. Buying expensive kinds of food, and clothes I wouldn't wear anyway. Maybe Jack would wear them? I wondered how they would look on him. _No, don't go there! _ I mentally cursed myself. It was time to go home I decided. Clothes only made me think more of Jack.

At home I immediately started working at one of my cases. But naturally, I had finished it by 5. Desperate for something to get my mind of Jack I started cooking. Something, anything to make me forget how nice he had looked this morning or how sweet his smile was. So genuine, so playful. But as I mixed ingredients and cut vegetables I started to wonder.

Why, why did I have to fall in love with Jack? He was nice, yes, attractive as well, but there were a million other, better guys I could and should fall in love with. Jack could never give me that security I needed in a relationship. He only had relationships for sex, and I needed more than that. I needed a sole mate. And was my sudden attraction to him purely sexually or also romantically? I didn't know, I honestly didn't.

I made every recipe I had at the moment. Muffins, cakes, casseroles. By 7 I had an enormous amount of food. I set the table for three. Jack and Grace were coming over. Grace because she liked me and Jack because he couldn't even make a sandwich. I stuffed all the other food in the fridge and put on some music just when Grace came in.

"Hey, honey. How are you?" she looked worried. I sighed, when would she ever stop worrying over me? I was fine, _fine_!

"I'm okay, you?" She sniffed.

"You're not okay, you made waffles. You never make baked goods unless there's a holiday coming up or when you're in love with someone you shouldn't be."

I frowned. She made it sound like falling in love with my best friends was a bad thing to do. How very right she was.

"Yeah, well, I uhm- You see the gym owner, uhm, bakery store no wait, the cat-." I was babbling. How could I not? Jack just walked in and he looked gorgeous. He wore my cloths, of course, and they looked so good on him. His hair was a bit windswept and he smiled happily about something. I had the incredible urge to throw him on the couch and tear off his clothes.

"Ooh! What smells so good? I'm thinking chocolate chip muffins!" He squealed happily. Of course, the man couldn't multiply any number with any other number, but food was his specialty.

I couldn't help but grin. God, he was so adorable.

"Yeah, I made some." Grace eyed me suspiciously. Was she afraid I would drop to my knees all of a sudden and declare my undying love for him or something? I wasn't stupid. Well, not that stupid.

He rushed over to the kitchen and started opening the closets.

"Where are they then? I love chocolate chip muffins!" He grinned insanely. I opened the fridge and gave the bag with muffins to him. His eyes gleamed in delight.

"You can have all of them if you want to." I said to him, my eyes roaming his lean body. God, what I would give to take him to my room and kiss him all over.

"Thanks, Will." He leaned in and kissed me on my cheek. I felt myself melt under his touch. I blushed like a schoolgirl in love and stuttered something. He didn't notice anything however. He bit into a muffin and said with his mouth full:

"Oph my Gfod, thisf ish so gowd!"

"Well, yeah. But now it's time for dinner." Grace pointed out.

"All right, all right mom." He rolled his eyes and put the muffins away and sat down at the table.

I stumbled to my seat, my face still burning from his kiss. _It was a friendly kiss! Don't get your hopes up Truman! _I told myself sternly as I sat down at the table. Grace started piling food up at her plate immediately and asked:

"So, how was your lunch with Joey, Jack?"

Jack sighed dramatically.

"It was awful. He got dumped by his boyfriend and wanted to cry over him. So I didn't get any." I felt a great feeling of triumph search through me. The fact that he didn't have sex twice that day made me feel so much better. I knew I couldn't have him, so anyone refusing sex to him was like a hero to me.

Dinner went by in a daze. Just being with him made my day. It felt great just talking to him about everyday business and looking at him. Yes, I really was in love with him. Whenever he smiled at me or laughed at one of my jokes I felt myself blushing and losing concentration. I hardly noticed Grace being there. It was only me and Jack. Grace didn't mind though, as long as there was food, she didn't have a problem with anything.

"As much as I like eating here and being ignored by the two of, I still need to do some work at home so I'll be going." She said matter-of-factly. Her twinkling eyes locked with mine. She clearly told me to make a move after she was gone.

"Ah, honey, have we ignored you? We're so sorry!" Jack said grinning and patted her on the head.

"Never mind." She said. "Have fun you two." She winked at me and left.

Jack got up after she left and held out his hand.

"Let's dance, Will." I chocked on my wine. Dancing? Was he trying to kill me? Touching him and being so close to him would be a complete torture.

"I can't dance, Jack, you know that." I lied flatly, averting my gaze.

"You liar!" He smiled. He pulled the glace out of my hand and put it on the table. He forced me up and pulled me away from the table. I couldn't resist him. His soft touch had made me heat up all over. He turned the music up a bit and placed his hand on my shoulder. Of course he would be the woman when we were dancing, he always was. I grinned. I wondered if he would also be so submissive when we would- I stopped my thoughts right there. _Control, control, control._ I said to myself.

I placed my hand on his waist and we started to sway to the music.

We were so close together. I could feel his breath on my cheek and his body was so near my own. I couldn't help but notice that we fit together so perfectly. We were exactly the same height and we moved together like a couple who had danced with each other for their whole lives. Touching him like this, looking in his bright blue eyes sparkling with mirth made so incredibly happy. I wanted to stay like that forever. Just dancing and singing the song. It was not torture at all, it was heaven.

I twirled him and he laughed softly. I pulled him back to me and he pressed up against me, his body fully against my own.

_I kissed the soft skin of his neck and my hands rested on his waist. I pulled him towards me forcing myself deeper in. He groaned loudly and panted. "Hmm, Will. Oh, God, yes!" _

I shook my head lightly as I felt his hands rest on my shoulders. I had my hands on his back and we started to dance in small circles.

"Will." He breathed at me, looking at me from under his eyelashes.

"Yeah." I whispered, desperately trying not to think of his warm body touching mine or how his hands left a burning feeling on my skin.

"You seem so tense, are you feeling okay?" He whispered. He looked indeed worried. I was worried as well, he had noticed something about me. I panicked a bit, what if he had found out? What would he do? Laugh? Scream? Yell? Shut me out of his life?

"I'm, I'm just a bit stressed I guess." I smiled weakly at him, I was distracted by his lips. Their were so red and they looked so soft. How would they feel pressed against my own?

"You know, you need something to make that go away, because a stressed Wildred is not so nice to be around with."

I frowned, I felt a bit offended.

"What I mean to say is that you need something to distress yourself." He started to lightly rub my shoulders. I made a sound that sounded somewhat agreeing.

"I'm here for you, you know that right?" He whispered, leaning in, his scent intoxicating me. He was right, he had always been there when I needed him.

"I know." I whispered.

"And if there's something you need, I'll give it to you. Anything to make you less tense."

"I wasn't tense at dinner." I frowned a bit.

"No, I know." He smiled. "But I can feel it, you're really stressed about something." He knew me so well, so much better than Grace.

"You're right."

"Will, I'm here as your best friend, I'm here for laughter, tears and comfort. Any comfort." He looked at me with a strong gaze, clearly trying to say something, but I couldn't make out what.

"I know, Jack." I reassured him.

He broke away from our embrace.

"Any comfort." He repeated. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and walked out.

What do you think? I know it's slightly different than the first chapter, but please review and tell me what you think!


	3. Accepting the offer

**Pure Jealousy**

**The Trust Foundation**

**M**

**Will/Jack**

**Not owning anything**

**I love you reviewers! You guys rock! Please keep going!**

I stared at the door after he had left. Any comfort? What did he mean by that? He had looked at me so intense, like he was trying to say something, but what? _Any comfort…ANY comfort! Could he possibly mean..?_ My eyes widened at the thought. I put off the music and sat down at the table. My mind racing with thoughts. _No, he couldn't possibly have meant sexual comfort. _I told myself. I knew he would do many things for me, but not that, never that.

Jack loved me, sure, but our relationship was more or less based on the fact that we never touched each other. Of course we touched each other in a friendly way, sometimes even a bit flirtingly, but it never meant more. Or did it? He had loved me when he was younger but that was over now. Or so I thought. I knew that I had lusted after him before, it would be silly to deny that fact. We both knew from each other that we had had sexual feelings for the other one, but we never acted at them. But what I was feeling now was more than just sexual attraction, it was love, and not older brother love, no it was the kind of love you feel for your partner.

I groaned out loud. Jack was so transparent sometimes but now, of all times he had to start being difficult. _What had he meant? _I thought again, I was starting to get frustrated. I needed help, but not from Grace, she didn't know him good enough. I would have to call Karen. Sighing I picked up the phone and dialed her private number.

"Hello."

"Karen?"

"Yes, who is this?" Karen said irritated.

"It's Will."

"What is it? I'm very busy you know."

"I need your help, it's uhm, serious."

"Okay…"

"And I'll buy you a bottle of gin."

"Fire away honey."

I hesitated. Karen would probably tell him, and I certainly couldn't have that. Was this a good thing to do? I decided it was too late to turn back, I was desperate and Karen was the only one who could help me right now.

"I got an offer from someone, and I'm unsure whether to take it or not."

"Honey, you know I'm not good at business things."

"It's a sexual offer." I whispered.

"A sexual offer? Someone offered you sex? Well, take it then! Last time I saw you, you looked like you could use some."

"You don't get it, it was from someone I'm not sure of whether it is a good idea or not."

"Why, is he ugly?"

"No, he's, uhm, he's Jack." Karen was silent for a while.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Jack."

"What Jack, because for a moment here I was thinking about my little poodle."

"That's the one."

"Jack offered you sex!" She sounded down right disturbed.

"I-I'm not sure okay? That's why I called, I need to know for sure! He said I was stressed and that I needed something to make me less tense. And, and he said that if there was anything he could do he would do it. He said he was there for comfort. ANY comfort."

"Oh my God." She whispered.

"What?"

"Jack offered you sex."

Later I lay in bed thinking about what she had said. She wouldn't tell him I had talked to her, but knowing her, well, it would only be a matter of time before he would find out. She had tried to make me tell whether I would take his offer or not, but I talked around it. Because I wasn't sure. I couldn't say I didn't want it, but it would not be a good idea. It would just be sex for him, I wanted not just his body, I wanted his soul. I wanted him to be mine.

His offer had confused me so badly that I lay awake for hours. What would happen if I accepted it? We would have sex and we would move on. He would continue to lay every guy he saw and I would grow more and more bitter with the day. But if I decided not to do it, I would never have sex with him.

I knew he was at the club at that very moment. I couldn't handle clubbing two nights in a row, but he sure could. He would pick up yet another stranger and have sex with him. He had sex with ten different guys a week, this normally didn't bother me, but now it sure did. He should be in my bed, he should be mine to touch, it should be me who was inside him.

I turned so I was laying on my back and stared at the ceiling. Why did Jack have sex with so many guys anyway? Wasn't it nicer to have someone just for you than have someone different every day? I wanted him so badly at that moment it made me near the verge of tears. Jealousy was eating me alive and I knew I had to do something about it soon, or I would go completely mad.

Tired of the day I finally fell asleep.

_I pressed him against the shower wall and kissed him passionately on the mouth. His hands moved over my body lovingly and he pulled me closer to him. He pulled away from our kiss and smiled at me wickedly. His hands slid down my body as he slowly moved down to his knees. Jack grinned up at me and started to kiss my pelvis._

"DING!DING!DING!" I cursed out loud and hit the alarm clock. Of course, right when my dream started to get good did that stupid thing have to go off. I got up immediately, the sooner I started the day, the sooner it would be over. If I continued to lay in bed I would only think about Jack anyway.

I took a very short shower and started to clean the apartment. I didn't dare to stay in the bathroom for too long, because it would remind me of my very vivid dream.

Just as I started cleaning the kitchen Grace called.

"How are you, Will?"

"For the last time, I'm fine!"

"Look, we all know how possessive you are, so doesn't the fact that Jack sleeps with everything that breaths bother you?"

"Yes, but there's nothing I can do to change it anyway."

"You could tell him you are in love with him."

"He would just laugh."

"No he wouldn't, he cares for you, a lot."

"But not in that way."

"You don't know until you ask him do you?"

I started to get irritated. There was no way I would ever tell Jack, I didn't need to get hurt. Especially not this early in the morning.

"Look, I got to go, there are tons of things I need to do."

"Uhm, okay, see you later then."

"Bye." I hung up and buried my head in my hands. My mind started to wonder. I had known Jack for so long and now, all of a sudden, I had fallen in love with him. Or maybe I had loved him all along but I just hadn't known it. I never should have went to that club, because now everything was different. It had awoken jealousy and with that, love. I used to get jealous whenever any of my boyfriends as much as looked at another guy and Jack, well Jack, he didn't really look at them. He just had sex with them. My jealousy and possessiveness had ruined more than one of my relationships, so I knew for sure that if I ever started to date Jack it wouldn't be for long.

"I thought I told you to do something about that?" A hard voice rang through my thoughts. I jerked up.

"Wow, you have been cleaning, you really are stressed." Jack said matter-of-factly. He had brougth his muffins and started eating them at the couch. I tried to say something but I couldn't find any words. He only wore his boxers so thinking, let alone talking, was very difficult.

He looked at me a bit scared.

"Will, I'm eating. On your couch. Muffins. Which have a lot of crumbs."

"Yeah, yeah, that's okay." I said, not really taking in any of the words he had just said.

He got up and stood in front of me.

"Will, what's the matter with you?" He sounded worried. People seriously needed to stop worrying over me, I could take care of myself perfectly.

"I. Am. Fine." I gritted out and looked at the ceiling. Jack was making me rather nervous, standing nearly naked in front of me.

"Will, please. I want to help you. You obviously need help." I looked at him. My mind racing with his words. _Help, you need help. He wants to help me. _His eyes burned through mine. He looked so innocent, yet I knew better, he was anything but.

"There's something-." I started, but I stopped. I couldn't be doing this. It was wrong.

"What?" he whispered. My eyes traced the lines of his face, taking in every curve and finally landed on his eyes. I loved him so much right then, it nearly made me choke.

"Will?" He asked.

I said nothing but took a step closer to him. His sweet smell wafting over me. The warmth of his body radiating through my clothes. I looked at him and subconsciously licked my lips. He looked at me expectantly. He was not nervous or tense, he was calm and willing.

He put his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer. Our nose were nearly touching. I had forgotten about the world, about Grace, about everything. He was there, so close, so warm, so loving. I only needed him. He rested his forehead against mine and I felt his hands move over my body, dipping lower and lower. I wanted to stop him, it was wrong, it would ruin our friendship. But as his warm hands neared my belt buckle I couldn't protest any longer.

Is this still going the right way? Please tell me, I love reviews! 


	4. Nothing

**Pure Jealousy**

**The Trust Foundation**

**M**

**Jack/Will**

**Not owning anything**

**Thanks for all the reviews! If it weren't for your support I wouldn't have written this very difficult chapter. Love you all!**

**WARNING! SEXUAL CONTENT!**

**(Just so you know)**

He slowly undid my belt-buckle and let my pants slip down to the floor. My breathing became shallow. Why was he doing this? Why? But I lost all concentration as his hands moved up and started to undo the buttons of my shirt. He dropped it lightly to the floor. Our eyes locked and his were so soft so questioning: He questioned me while he undressed me. _What's going on with you, Will? Why are you so tense? Let me help, I want to help. _I could clearly see it in his eyes. Sometimes he was so difficult to read, and sometimes so transparent, like now. I closed my eyes involuntarily as he started to stroke my bare back with his hands, just moving up and down and making random patterns. He moved his head and lightly kissed my cheek. I shuddered. I wanted to touch him, like he was touching me. I wanted to push him onto the ground and kiss him for all he was worth, but somehow I knew it wouldn't be appreciated. He wanted to give me comfort, he didn't need it for himself. It was an act of friendship for him, not an act of love.

He kissed my neck, softly and unsure. He had never kissed me in that way and I could tell he was a bit nervous about it. He stepped closer to me, so, that his chest brushed mine. I couldn't question what he was doing, my mind was completely blank, accept for one thought: Him. I slowly raised my arms and put them around his shoulders, bringing him a bit closer to me.

His hands moved to my chest and he caressed me there. A bit firmer and a bit more sure of himself now that he knew I fully wanted it. His kisses became rougher and I felt myself getting incredibly aroused by what he was doing. My hold on his shoulders became tighter and tighter as he sucked on my neck and moved down all the while. My breathing came out in gasps and I knew I was talking nonsense, I always did in times of pleasure.

His hands were now on my waist, making slow circles and every now and then he let a few fingers dip below the elastic of my boxer. I became frustrated. Why wasn't he touching me there? Was he afraid of doing so?

I moved my pelvis up a bit, into his touch, but he ignored my actions, or he wasn't aware of them. He just kissed my collarbone and made small movements up and down my thighs.

I couldn't take it anymore and I let my hands wander down until they rested on his ass. And as he moved his hands up my leg I pulled him up a bit. So that his hands slipped further then he intended to and covered my erection. I groaned aloud and buried my head in the crook of his neck. I felt him smile against the skin of my shoulder, this was an action not unworthy of himself. He slowly moved one of his hands over my boxer. His other hand moved to the small of my back.

My breathing became hard as he started to stroke me over my boxer. His other hand moved up and down my back, arousing me and at the same time giving me support, because the moment he had started to touch me there I had nearly fallen to the floor. He stripped me of my boxer, leaving me completely naked in front of him, but I felt no nervousness. He had seen me naked before, though it had been involuntarily. The times he had came into the shower while I was undressing were countless.

I could feel his eyes move over my body, but he didn't touch me. I opened my eyes unsurely. Had he changed his mind? His eyes moved down my body and he blushed slightly at the sight of my erection. Apparently he could feel my stare because he blinked and looked at me. I couldn't handle the idea that there was a possibility he had changed his mind, so I stepped forward and brushed my lips over the skin of his cheek. I felt him close his eyes as I continued kissing the soft skin of his face, and I did the same. Finally touching him felt so great, so much better than I had ever imagined it would be. I wanted it to last forever, that wonderful feeling.

His hands moved to touch me again. I groaned against his neck as he took me firmly in his hand. His strokes were hard and extremely well placed. He knew what to do to get a man extremely aroused, and for the first time in these past days I didn't mind where he got that experience.

He put more pressure on me and I thought I was going to explode. My breathing warmed his neck noticeable and his own was growing very rapid as well, or was it only my imagination? His other hand continued to caress my back in a sensual, loving way I had never imagined he would use on me. I gripped his shoulders very hard with my hands and I groaned loudly, although I tried to suppress it.

He picked up pace and before I knew it, before I could control myself, I felt myself falling over the edge. Hard.

I yelled loudly as I spilled my seed over his hand. Black dots covered my vision for a few seconds. His arm tightened around me to keep me upright. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He smiled and pulled a tissue out of his pocket and cleaned me up. When he turned around to throw it away the full intensity of what we had just done hit me.

_Oh my god! He just jerked me off! Oh my god, oh my god! _I took a deep breath and dressed myself, not daring to look at him. He, however, did look at me. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, and it only made me dress even quicker. He had just seen me at my most vulnerable time and I felt somewhat ashamed. We had never shared our sexuality with each other in a way like this.

And above all, what was I supposed to say now, thank you? I truly didn't know.

I looked at him unsurely, and I was glad I did. His eyes were warm and friendly, kind, in a way I had never seen them. He smiled again and leaned in, kissing me on the cheek.

"Have a good day, Will." He walked out, picking up his beloved chocolate muffins on the way.

I breathed out loud and ran my fingers through my hair. How on earth was I supposed to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day?

But I knew what to do, it was something I should have done so much earlier: I had to call Grace. I shook my head, trying to forget the way Jack had looked just a bit earlier: caring, loving and desperate. Desperate for me to feel better, to find release. I took another breath, picked up the phone and dialed Grace's number.

"Hello."

"Hi Gracie."

"Oh, hi Will! How are you?"

"Uhm, I'm fine I guess. But there is something I need to tell you."

"You mean the fact that you're in love with Jack."

"Yeah, but you already know that, so."

"So…"

"Yeah…"

"…"

"…"

"Will, I can't guess what you want to say, you know." She said teasingly.

"Okay, here is the deal: yesterday after you left Jack said he wanted to help me to get less tense, as he called it. And he made it sound like he was offering sex, so I called Karen to check if that was what he meant, and she said he did. And later when he came in for breakfast he, how do I say this? He jerked me off."

"WHAT! He did, he did WHAT!

I couldn't help but grin, exactly the reaction I had expected.

"You know you will have to tell me everything don't you, Will? Down to every single dirty detail."

"I didn't expected anything else, Gracie."

I felt a lot better after I had talked to her. Hell! I felt great. I even felt so great that I had the incredible urge to tell Jack what I felt for him.

He had given me an incredible big favor after all, not one you would give to someone you didn't have feelings for, right? Suddenly I felt my heart swell with love for him. Even if he didn't feel that way for me, he still would have done it because he was my friend. My god, I really loved him. He was such a good friend, such a nice person. I wanted to tell him, thank him. Something I wasn't able to do when he was around, but now I was ready for it. He needed to know what I felt, I owed it to him. Jack, my friend, my love, he had the absolute right to know, and I was going to tell him. Now.

I straightened my back and walked out of my apartment, across the hall and knocked at his door. I didn't get an answer, but I knew he was there. Getting impatient I reached for the door. I wanted to talk to him so badly that I didn't care about his privacy. A smile formed itself on my face, all things considered, he might just have feelings for me as well, I thought.

My smile however, vanished from my face immediately when I opened the door. I could have known. I SHOULD have known. I cursed myself. Why should Jack, of all people, just make one person happy per day? He could make so many happy. And he did. He did.

"What is it?" Jack asked, looking away from the man sitting next to him. His eyes not painful, as I knew mine were, but slightly irritated for being disturbed while being with one of his lovers. The sight in front of me made me slightly sick, how could he be with so many men at the same day? Didn't he have any dignity?

"Well?" He quietly motioned for me to go away and leave him alone. Leave THEM alone.

"Nothing." I managed to say. "Nothing."

I stepped back, closed the door and buried my head in my hands.

No, it was nothing, because it was nothing to him. Nothing.

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